Afraid to enter in 2025
Why Time Feels like It’s Slipping Away
Standing on the eve of 2025, I feel deep within me a great fear. There is this growing feeling of anxiety as I realize that the years go by like those on an acceleration machine while my life does not seem to become better—it seems to go spirally in the opposite direction instead. It feels like time has become a current that one cannot control, and from day to day, I see myself drifting further from life.
The Silent Passing of Time
For I don't know exactly when, but one day life was a hope of growth and opportunity and endless possibility. Somewhere along the line, that hope turned to a quiet terror. Now time blurs and days are lost so that I've almost quit wondering: where did it go? How'd I ever transform looking forward into fearing the future?
It’s as though life is speeding by, and I’m just running on autopilot-one year blurring into the next without me really living. Birthdays pass, and the year-end seems to creep up quicker each year than it would. Crossing over to 2025 is in front of me, but I’m not ready. I don’t want to cross that threshold yet.
Life Isn’t What I Expected
As I age, the blows of reality hit harder. What seemed nearer to being reached by my dreams and goals still seem farther away, and what life presents to me seems only to be more. The pressure from success, happiness, and filling these great expectations just gets heavier every year as the feeling of being stagnated intensifies. I feel that I am merely standing, with time slipping away; however, I am not making the progress that I thought I should be making.
What is worse, however, is the fear of that trend continuing. What if 2025 is just the beginning of another year of missed opportunities, unrealized potential, and deeper disappointment? The world is galloping forward, and I am utterly caught up in the whirlwind of that movement, and that feeling frightens me just as much as it overwhelms me.
The Fear of Running Out of Time
A lot of times, people would say, "Time flies when you're having fun." How about when you're not? What happens when time just begins to have a looming deadline on that life which didn't quite shape up the way I thought it would? It's really frightening to watch this future roll towards me when it has yet to arrive.
There's part of me which wants to pause. To slow down the passage of time, figure out how to regain control. Time waits for no one, though, and the more I try to resist its relentless march, the more powerless I feel.
The Search for Meaning
Despite everything, I know time passes. But perhaps I am just looking in the wrong place to calm my anxiety. Maybe I need to find a way to calm my anxiety instead of fighting it. Life is not a race; it has been made to be that when it's measured and judged based on societal expectations and milestones. What if I started seeing time as the adversary alongside with me on my journey? Maybe my fear about 2025 and the years following is that I feel lost and disconnected from those things that actually matter to me.
Life doesn't sometimes look like that perfect picture in our heads, and that ticking clock gets overwhelming. However, then again, maybe it is not about dreading the passing of time but about finding a sense of purposeI mean, something that will help me welcome the future without fear.
Slowly Forward
2025 will come. Prepared or not. And though I am still all confused and scared, I'm starting to learn that it is fine to go slow. Life may not be anywhere near where I want it in the near future yet; doesn't mean I'm not growing or learning. Maybe the trick is not fearing the future but finding a way to live it with a bit more patience and understanding for myself.
And with time going by, I remind myself that, really, I am not alone in this boat. Most of us are really struggling with how fast life is and why all these things just seem to pop up- or disappear. No rush. Time will keep passing; with it comes a great understanding to be evolving at our own pace.
So, when 2025 comes along, I decide to meet it with cautious optimism. Yes, time may seem short and crowding in on the life, but that is still in me, that power to make the best of time given to me. And maybe that's enough.
