Fixing Something Forcefully Makes It Even Worse
Why Pressure Never Leads to Healing
We all make mistakes. It’s part of being human. But how we handle those mistakes can make all the difference between personal growth and a personal fall. With internal pressures or by the expectations of others and sometimes both combined, people try to forcefully “fix” things when they go wrong, thus pushing them too hard, feeling that if they only work hard enough, they can undo what was done wrong. But this approach often backfires, leading to worse outcomes: damage of mental health low self-esteem, and even a defeatist attitude in some cases.
Imagine, you have done something wrong, and every single day, instead of being supported, you are made to regret what you have done. People around you perhaps even unknowingly remind you of your error, making it hard to escape the guilt. Over time, you internalize this blame and begin punishing yourself. You would then believe that because of one mistake, you don’t deserve happiness or peace. You start to cut these things out of your life, thinking, “I do not deserve to feel good.” And it’s at this point that things begin to unravel for you, and your mental health deteriorates and your self-esteem suffers.
You Can’t Fix Yourself Forcefully
Trying to fix yourself forcefully knowing that you cannot heal a wound if you keep touching it. It only makes the situation worse. The idea that you can pressure yourself into perfection is a trap. It’s an endless cycle of disappointment because, no matter how hard you push, you can never truly “force” healing or change. The pressure only increases stress, leading to anxiety and depression.
For example, think about when you were a child. If you did something wrong, and your parents responded by sending you to your room or grounding you, it may have felt like you were being punished instead of helped. Strict parenting can sometimes destroy a child’s mental health, making them feel unsupported or unworthy. This is exactly how we often treat ourselves as adults.
When we make a blunder, instead of allowing ourselves to move past it, we mentally ground ourselves. We cut off our own joy and tell ourselves, “You don’t deserve this.” But here’s the truth:
A mistake doesn’t mean your joy is undeserved. Your day is not ruined, your world is not over.
The Academic and Career Pressure Trap: Why Pushing Yourself Too Hard Backfires
Think of this, you fail an exam or miss out on a dream job. Instantly, you feel the pressure to fix it all , double your efforts, take on more tasks, and push yourself to the limit. But instead of bouncing back, you’re spiraling into burnout, overwhelmed by trying to juggle everything at once.
Here’s the hard truth, forcing yourself to succeed by piling on more pressure only digs you into a deeper rut. What you truly need is to pause. Give yourself time to breathe, reflect, and reset. Progress doesn’t happen overnight, and healing requires patience, not force.
A Human Perspective
We’ve all been there — made a mistake and instantly felt the pressure to make it right, fast. Whether it’s messing up at work, failing an exam, or disappointing someone we care about, the instinct is to jump into “fix-it” mode. You start punishing yourself, cutting out things that make you happy, and thinking you don’t deserve peace until everything is perfect again. But here’s the thing: the harder you try to force a solution, the worse it gets.
When you treat yourself harshly, it’s like grounding yourself emotionally. Just like when strict parents send a child to their room, you shut down, thinking it’s the right way to “learn” from the mistake. But what really happens? The child doesn’t learn from the punishment, they just feel isolated and resentful.
