Grief deadens the Heart
Grief is an incredibly potent, dense emotion of loss. It sometimes feels like a weight stuck in your chest: you cannot breathe out from it or proceed any further. It isn’t all sadness; waves of anger, confusion, loneliness, and numbness can break loose. It works kind of like an anesthesia to dull the heart by taking away that passing joy and energy, and to empty a hollow, bitter sense of being.
The emotional movement of grief is fierce. When we lose anything or anybody that matters to us, it’s as if a part of us departs, too, the mind cannot accept the loss reality, and the heart feels so heavy with remorse. Many times, this type of emotional paralysis leads to isolation, especially as the grieving person goes into some form of hibernation, not knowing how to cope with the raging conflagration of feelings cooking inside. This isolation exacerbates the pain as the comfort of their love is slowly taken from us.
Mentally, it can lead to dwindling energy levels, disrupted sleep, and loss of appetite. It weighs in mentally to make even the smallest of tasks impossible to tackle. Gradually, the somberness and stress may numb the heart. And, protection is created by this numbness as not to allow pain again. But with all that protection, it not only blocks out any happiness and love but also prevents connecting with each other. In a nutshell, a heart deadens not by a choice but due to an overwhelming sense of survival in the middle of an emotional storm.
Understanding the Impact and Healing
It then becomes essential to work through the pain instead of acting as if it is void in us. If we can start to allow for our feelings, no matter how unsavory they may feel, we can begin to heal. Finally, talking to a trusted friend or confidant, as well as seeking professional help if necessary, or perhaps journaling are ways that such a person might confront and release emotions connected to grief. These acts of expression slowly open the heart, and the warmth and connection once again comes into view.
While everyone’s experience of grief is different, there is still something of a common thread-one that speaks to the need for time and patience. There is no shortcut through grief, but for us taking small steps toward healing avoids falling into despair; allowing ourselves to feel, reach out for support, and eventually find meaning in loss helps the heart come back to life by softening the harsh edges of pain. Grief may change us, it doesn’t have to kill us. Self-compassion and compassion for others can heal our wounds and allow us to carry on the memory of what we have lost in a manner that keeps our hearts open.
