they say don’t you ever give up, but it’s so hard to be something when you are not
In this world where self-help books, motivational speakers, and Instagram posts scream at us to "never give up," we often drown in an endless sea of expectations. We are drummed into our minds from a very early age with the mantra of perseverance, the idea of quitting equated to failure. How then are we to take what if it really is not perseverance that is the problem in our struggle? What if the struggle that’s hardest is that we’re trying to become something we’re just not?
The Snares of External Expectations
Society loves to hear a good success story. We hail those who have gotten up from dust, have climbed impossible mountains, and have reached seemingly impossible goals. But what happens when the path does not fit us? Pressure to fit into someone else's mold of what he or she created becomes overwhelming.
If you have ever felt like an imposter, it may not be because of a lack of talent or grit. Often, that's because we are wearing a costume that doesn't fit. It is rather like being handed a role in a play where you are the star athlete and you actually are the artist who would rather paint the sets. People tell you to never give up on your dreams, and this is cool, but if you are trying to get to something that you really don't feel connected to, then it is entirely normal that you have become disconnected.
The Role of Self-Awareness
As we are all time-takers to consider who we are, especially in relation to our values, passions, and strengths, we set out on a journey before we can clearly define ourselves. When we don't know who we are at the deep end of our souls, we get misled by goals that don't belong to us. This usually leads to burnout and being locked into life in a way that doesn't satisfy us.
Self-awareness is not a discovery that strikes one at once but rather forms part of a continuous journey. As individuals grow and change, their priorities, dreams, and values can shift over time. The main thing is to stay connected with yourself and not fear adjusting your path should it no longer align with the true you.
Embracing the Power of Redirection
Quitting is not the opposite of persistence. It takes a lot of strength to admit that something's not right for you and even more to walk away and begin again. Sometimes, letting go of a goal can be an act of courage and care for oneself.
Ponder your path as a hike up a mountain. If that trail you are on seems to be taking you in a direction opposite from where you wish to be, turning could be a very smart move for you. Maybe what you need is a completely different path; or maybe your destination is more than entirely different. By allowing yourself to pivot, you are not quitting-you're just choosing a path that feels more true to who you are.
Redefine Success
Success doesn't have to mean aggressive strides like everyone else. For one person, success is a strong career; for another, it's simply peace and plenty of solid, meaningful relationships along with personal fulfillment. Redefine success on your own terms, and the chains of outside expectations come loose from around your mind.
Spend a few minutes considering what success means for you. Is it freedom, stability, creativity, or maybe a way of being a blend of these things? Success is very personal and the journey to get there can't look like anyone else's either.
Authenticity and Fulfillment
Leave the stress and expectation behind to become someone else and find peace and direction in this life. Authenticity is the practice of a path that satisfies you, even if it is unpopular or does not attract awards. Being true to oneself may mean sacrifices or taking a risk; but such things are the only surest ways to be fulfilled.
It's great to change your mind, shift your goals, and let go of that dream that no longer resonates with you. The world will always tell you to "never give up," but sometimes the bravest thing you can do is let go of what doesn't serve you. The only thing you should never give up on is your journey toward self-discovery and authenticity.
Conclusion
For in the end, life is not about becoming somebody that you are not, just to fit in or fulfill a dream of somebody else. Rather it's in learning how to be who you are within what you are worth and finding a life that resonates with your values and passion. Let go of this, that this is a failure when you choose to live by those things in your life that can really make sense to you. You are not quitting; you are finally living.
This work makes me remember that sometimes doing the most important thing is just to find strength enough to pivot.
